As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
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