Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
