what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
