He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Randomize
