New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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