return my video game
Jerry, you need to find god
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
