One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
