My friends, they love my intelligence
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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