this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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