Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
