hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
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There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize