No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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