i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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