I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
