Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You work out of a Hotel?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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