Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
