quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
