You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
