yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
