So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
