I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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