I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
