Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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