I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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