you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
