I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
you made out with another girl for some wings
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
