I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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