it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just tell him i said nine months
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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