Define "chronic" masturbator.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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