Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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