Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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