The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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