She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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