direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
