I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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