why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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