I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
