This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i need some magic done to my vagina
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
