I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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