My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
