I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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