why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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