i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize