He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
