I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
