UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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