Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
