your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
