i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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