i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
