Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize