what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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