i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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