I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
