Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
