i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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