I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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