Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
