We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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