dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize