maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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